but just one part

apparently gardenia raisin loaf is good. so good a monkey decided he’d help himself to the loaf in my kitchen. i have no idea how it smelt it, but i found it behind my neighbour’s house tasting my bread. although it seems like he didn’t like it all that much afterall – he left half of it behind and disappeared into another house. the next time you decide to waste food, think about the poor starving monkeys.

that provided some amusement. studying’s really getting to be a bore. it’s just a few days more but i’m losing steam already. i wonder if i really will ever get out of my poor academic showing.

defining the time that is slipping by

different in the same world

hold your own
know your name
and go your own way

i’m getting really worried about the inability, and sometimes unwillingness, to study. and all the effort and time spent doing pw.

but i want to keep my head straight and try. put in what i can and try.

where to?

The silence. Stillness of the night.
The street lamps and my room lights.
Only the sounds of brandenburg
And the occasional rattling of the fan.

, breathing the colour thought is before language into still air. I’m figuring out what that might mean.
A nice time until you realise that tomorrow you’ll be sleepy.

Why’re you still awake? What keeps me awake.
Three weeks. No. Less.
Why do this?

Every drip drop of energy. Effort.
you know people do get quirky, a bit, at this time

i think compared to last year, i’ve taken a more positive attitude towards the pre-exam studying. not that it makes my studying any easier or any faster. i still delude myself that i will be able to finish everything sufficiently and satisfactorily in these 3 weeks. though honestly, i’m getting kinda worried.

sometimes, the best action amidst uncertainty and fragility,
is inaction.

days that change our lives

I spent lunch time today watching 102 Minutes That Changed America on history channel. I was intending to do work, except that the documentary on 9/11 was too striking. I know it’s been a long time since 2001, but the images still caught me. This was a plain, pure compilation of numerous video footages from as far as outside of manhattan to right beneath the world trade centre. There was no narration, no cgi, no nothing. Just true images and voice recordings of civilians on the ground, civilians trapped in the wtc and paramedics. It captured raw human emotions. The gaping mouths, the shaking of heads, the look of utter disbelief – that struck me the hardest. It brought me back to that night, when i was a mere primary 3 kid. I’m quite sure I still remember the disbelief, but also the (innocent and disgusting) excitement I felt. Today, I thought of what I would have done if I were caught in that situation. The panic and desperation – a huge surge of overwhelming emotions. A news reporter mentioned how that could be a day that would change your life forever. And I wondered if such a day would come for me. How would I be different. Which part of me would endear through. Is a near death experience for the better?