the tragedy of Dramafeste 07

(firstly, i’d like to say these following comments are of no personal attacks. i just cannot understand it.)

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i don’t know what to say, to rant or to speak with some brains. maybe i’ve lost all of it, maybe the majority of us have lost it. since the judges make decisions that contradict us all. may be we just suck and that the judges have more experience. yet all our sentiments are the same, and how does that work out?

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i shall make no personal refrences and i mean no personal attakcs. but the following i do not understand and if u do (with brainful comments) then tell me how.

how does a play win when its not written by you? shall i act our shakespeare’s play then? and surely ur not going to tell me the script is seperate from the acting and all (as long as i like the play, its the best play). if that is so, then wheres the moral integrity of drama?

how do you judge who’s the best director when you do not go to rehearsals to see for yourself? shall i write a lousy script, stage it terribly well and say its the work of the director? or put all my actors on stage, get them to move props and not be a prop and call that good directing? or make my props look pretty and say i the director directed it as such?

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the next few, i just don’t like it cos it’s to my distaste. but believe me, i’m not the only one.

best actor, best promising young actor, best ensemble. i totally do not agree.

hullet winning nothing. i totally do not comprehend.

us getting possibly fifith again or just slightly higher. i totally do not think we deserved it.

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the simple fact was that you can feel when a play is horrid. you just do not feel like watching it. that was the same feelings i honestly had with buckley last year. but this year i had it with some other hosue and it bags how many awards? (call me sour grapes if you like. whatever.) do not tell me a play can be magically much better at night than in the afternoon such that the professional or “professional” judges like it better.

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and then buckley. i do not think we deserved what we put in. may be in life, sometimes, it is like this. but i do not like it we do not deserve it when i think we should, when others do when i think they should not. (call me biased if you like. whatever.) most promising young actor. i think he deserved it, really. (you think otherwise? whatever.) and then to the comments.

melo drama. not drama enough. we started out high and so we couldn’t get higher. fine may be we sucked at acting, i accept that.

but over-emoting. hello? have you not realised? the audience laughed close to ten, if not ten times in an effing tragedy. what is so funny? the racial puns that no one but you or those saturday night audience laughed at? the monopoly money that no one but you or those saturday night audience laughed at? and what? putting a f*cking knife under a cushion is so funny? or is it my face? for bloody gods sake. tell me its my face. if not tell me ur retarded, then i’ll excuse you. like f*ck! do you not know that a laughter in a tragedy spoils the entire mood of the actors? why do you think some of us had to go to the extent of over emoting? so funny! tell me all you who laughed on buckley dramafeste 2007, day 2, 28 july, 7.30pm show. what the hell is so funny? i was in tears backstage because you people laughed. a laughter in tragedy equates to failure. and if a full house of people were laughing then i must have failed. or have i? no one, no one, no one has laughed in every rehearsal . only the afternoon audience laughed at the killing scene. fine! but you people who watched the night show laughed at every f*cking thing! tell me, if you know which part of us failed?

i admit. there were mistakes. there were things that we were not good at. fine. but the laughter was unacceptable.

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there was much i learnt.

firstly, no tragedies. no tragedy im writing next year. because of you or them.

secondly, variety. variety is needed to stand out. creativity comes with it.

and much more i have no wish to talk about now.

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but i still feel. we didnt deserve what we got. we deserved something not more, but much better. everything messed up from top to toe today. the efforts put in, were rewarded with a useless audience, a useless programme and useless luck.

screw this day. it is the worst.

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the stage is a box

a box filled with 2 characters

the physical one, the acted one.

but to the front of the box

is you the audience.

you the audience that influences our mood

we the actors that change your mood.

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the physial drama is what you see

the emotional drama is what you dont.

if you do sense it, you feel it

if you don’t, we’ve failed in it.

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but you the audience

are supporters.

today you just spoilt it for us

and for yourself.

you’ve been a total idiot today.

is it because of us?

tell me.

Df ‘07: First sights, Second thoughts

Hullet. Moor. Morrison.

Hullet and its freaky abstract art about something or other. Moor with their red-headed lions and the barbaric tale of freedom. Morrison and their all so seemingly innocent and child-entertaining circuses.

For me, i felt morrison took centre stage on day one. i liked the idea of something like the circus – simple and more importantly innocent. the circus being just a place for kids to be entertained… but not so. it connected well with me, it was thought provoking.

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this is where drama lies.

that single empty stage to be filled by actors who act out your thoughts, to be filled by props that adds detail to your imagination . it is all about imagination, defining that imagination. this process transforms an empty box – surrounded by the floor below, the lights above, the curtains to the side and most importantly the audience right in front – into something so abstract that is hidden within your mind. but, this box contains within it, not our imagination or our creativity.

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and that is why i believe a good play, as with many other works, must be thought provoking. it has to connect emotionally to us and us all. if that fails, all fails. but the simple fact i see with dramafeste is that it is 30 mins. that time is enough to prod the mind while being engrossed in the play. but i’ve seen, that after each play has passed, those thoughts pass to. and so i wonder, is the play really good? i feel nothing more after a while. may be 30 mins, isn’t long enough to bring forth an idea. may be 30 mins isn’t long enough to get ur mind fixed on an idea.

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with which, i hope our play is not only staged on the physical space, but that mental space within you. i hope it gets there…

taking on the new stage

It’s coming.

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The stage is set,

The tickets are sold out,

The actors are ready,

The helpers are prepared,

The show is about to begin …

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Ladies and gentlemen

Boys and girls

Dwen An, Taiwan

the view -pic

9 July 2007 to 15 July 2007 – 7 days 6 nights . The first day was spent flying there, the last was spent flying home. But i never wanted to fly away. i was forced to – to board the plane, to leave my lovely friends. i’d, if i could, choose to stay there, not because of the country, not because of the people, but because of my friends.

I had no intention of heading for taiwan. there were criteria i had to meet, those that i did not. but i was asked by my friend to go, and feeling the influence of peer pressure, i agreed. i never regretted it now.

I never expected to make such good friends. in fact i had said in 6 days, what kind of friends can i possibly make? and so i decided that while others will make friends, i’d not touch them. but how i was wrong. 6 days. it is enough to make friends, friends that you will never forget, friends that you’ll never allow yourself to forget.

I dont know what it was or why there was or how there could have been. all i know was that i was touched… by something i know not of, but one word to sum it up – love. i just felt attached to them. perhaps because of all the help i’ve gotten, all the support i’ve received and all the fun i had. but these things, i have in singapore too. so why is it i do not feel the same. perhaps just not now. i mean not to say my friends in singapore, you’re nothing to those in taiwan. but maybe it isnt the time to say good bye yet. i’ve got another year with you people in RI, another 2 in RJ and another countless years in Singapore (i hope). But when its time to say goodbye, i would and probably would do the same and feel the same.

For friendship is the most precious thing in this world – i like how some had put it. course it is, i hadn’t realise till last week. but god, it is. may be second to motherly love, fatherly love and family love. but god, it is second to none others. so when the tears flowed out on the last day, it was something i could not control. others say they were touched. but was i? i was touched, but by what? i can’t say for sure, but all i know is that i was touched… by the friends that i could not bear to leave. i was touched… by the success of the event that i could not bear to have it end. it was this success, made together with these friends, that i could not bear to leave behind.

On the bus, i knew it was nearing the end. it was time i could not stopped, though all in me wanted time to freeze. but no, reality was not as such and it was reality i simply had to face… tearfully. it was a sense of helplessness at the second stop that the bus stopped at. all had left the bus, except for those that did not stay in taiwan. i alighted the bus to say my last farewells. as i boarded the bus again, the door closed shut. it was something i did not feel, something i cannot use a cliched phrase to sum it up. but it was something i felt an absolutely loss of power for. as the bus pulled away, i felt the tears flow free out of my eyes, down my cheeks. i just stared at those faces that looked up at me with the same saddenned, helpless look. it felt like a scene from the movies…but it was not. it was my life.

Those who did not feel it, could not understand why i had cried. they had heard i had cried, but i had cried amongst many everyone did and when everyone does, what is there you who did not feel it can say? you’ve missed an opportunity you’ll get little of in your life. but for those who are weak at heart like me, may be its better for you do not have to feel the pain of saying goodbye.

There was much more to learn but those that i really did was that friends you cannot forget. i wish not to have to face the same feelings again but i know it cannot be stopped. some day some where in my life down this road i’ll meet the same wall the wall that seperates me from you and then, once again, all over again, i’ll have to face it… to say goodbye though its something that comes from my brain, not my heart.

It is reality i had to face. i could fight it, but i cannot win it. there’s the technological advantage of today, but trust me, it isnt the same as yesterday – the days we had together. for it is that close, that touching, that unforgettable…. there’ll be no “and” to my statement, for there’ll be no end…

This Light

It is night, but i’ve finally found the urge.

Its squashed time, but i’ve squeezed out some time.

Cause i can wait no longer, for the thoughts can hold no longer.

So here they will, at its will, all flow out…